Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Originally uploaded by Kim Howarth

Edit 14 Years Ago Today I Saw My Daughter for the First Time

Fourteen years ago today a fuzzy fax copy of a four month old information sheet came sailing into my office and I received the first hazy look at my daughter. In many respects the blurry copy reminded me much of an ultrasound photo, although it was hard at first to tell if it really was a blurry copy coming from Beijing or the fact that my eyes were filled with tears.

God had answered my prayer and I was overjoyed to be saying "Yes" to accepting the referral of a very tiny baby half-way around the world in a place I had never even heard of in China.

We didn't have Internet access at that time where I was working (in 1994 who did?) and a hasty trip to grab a copy of the "Lonely Planet Guide to China" only told me that the city of Zhuzhou was a very small (population of 500,000) industrial city in south central China's Hunan province, a place of "not much to see" and an hours drive from the birthplace of Chairman Mao. A poor rural area with no tourist attractions to speak of and home to a renown fiery cuisine that can singe your eyelashes off just by walking past a Hunan food vendors cart on any given day.

But none of that mattered on that day. All I wanted to do was stare endlessly at that little face and thank God for putting my feet upon the path and faithfully walking-- and sometimes pulling me-- step by step.

This morning at staff devotions, we were talking about the courage of Mary as she pondered the message from the angel Gabriel that she would bear a son- our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (Luke 2:19). The enormity of this message is unfathomable. We went on to discuss what we ponder.

Without a doubt, I often ponder the path upon which God has set my feet and the different twists and turns the path has taken. When I stop along the path or tentatively look about for help, it is then that God's love comes bursting through and I grasp His hand a little tighter, trusting that in a few weeks, months or even years I will be able to look back with an astounding realization of why I walked where I did in order to get where God wants me to go.

What startles me most are the detours that made no sense to me at a specific point in time but upon which I can look back at now and see how things connect and continue to help me grow through God's grace at each and every turn.

There are prayers that I am now very thankful that God didn't answer, or answer the way I wanted (or demanded) to be answered. For standing at this height and this distance I can now understand that God's timing and path for me is perfect. It's not always smooth; it's not always easy; and it's not always very pretty, but it has a purpose.

Fourteen years from the date that I first saw my daughter's face, I can say that I am thankful, that God is a great and merciful God and I look forward to many times of great pondering- big and small, important and not so much for without God's grace and mercy it wouldn't mean much at all.

Win a trip to China! - Yeah, maybe not...

Last night I just happened to catch a promo for Seattle's local "Evening Magazine" show and was thrilled to see that the crew has been filming on location in China.

It's been 3.5 years since I've been back to China and anyone who has known me for long will tell you that I have been eating/sleeping/breathing China for the past 13 years.

So, when I saw the "Evening Magazine" promo, which then led into a blurb about the show giving away a trip to China, I was elated. Wouldn't it be great to win and get back to a place that I love so much?

Hold on... that elation was quite short lived, maybe 2 minutes tops when I logged on to learn more about the contest and discovered that low and behold the air transportation is being provided courtesy of Hainan Airlines. Hainan Airlines? Are you kidding?

I was nearly bowled over a few months ago when I read that Hainan Airlines was slated to begin offering non-stop flights between Seattle and Beijing. Why couldn't it have been any other airline? Air China, China Southern, even China Eastern (they used to fly via Seattle). But no, a little known airline named for the Hawaii-like Island just off southern China's coast just had to be the one granted the rights to the Seattle-Beijing route and subsequently be a sponsor and travel provider of "Evening Magazine's" contest.

Can Hainan Airlines really be that bad? If I could win that free trip wouldn't I take it Hainan Airlines and all? Actually, no. I have flown just about every airline in service in China and I specifically and absolutely will NOT fly Hainan Airlines.

Every single time that I have ever flown on Hainan Airlines I have nearly been put off from flying forever, yes forever.

My introduction to Hainan Airlines came via a flight from the southern Chinese tourist city of Guilin to the metropolis of Shanghai. The flight was full and passengers were continuing to board. The flight attendants had been stashing extra carry-on's in some of the empty seats because the overhead storage bins were full. When it was realized that the seats would be needed, the posted "Out of service" signs on the toilet doors and began stacking carry-on luggage in the toilet facilities (you must remember that when Chinese travel, they often bring a LOT of stuff with them). Once all of the seats were full and more passengers continued to stream onto the plane, workers were brought onto the planes with extra seating for the passengers. However there was no way to bolt those extra seats to the floor of the cabin. Oila! out came bungy cords and the new seats were strapped to the rest of the seats in the plane. To add insult to injury to the late arriving passengers, when it is departure time in China- it is departure time! Not every passenger had gotten strapped into his/her seat before the plane roared off and began to not only taxi down the runway, but to lift off. Right then I knew that Hainan Airlines would be an airline that I would try to avoid in the future.

Two years later a dear friend of mine and I decided to take a flight from Chairman Mao's home province of Hunan down to the tourist city of Guilin for some tourism research and photography. Mark didn't like me traveling alone in China so he took a few days off from working with adoptive families to go along. When I found out that we could only get a flight on Hainan Airlines or we would have to take an 18 hour train I decided to give Hainan Airlines one more try. When we got out on the Tarmac sheer panic took over when I realized that we would be flying in a 13 seat prop plane and guess who had drawn seat 13? Mark quickly realized that Americans don't always like the number 13 and swapped with me. As we climbed aboard you can imagine the hush that fell over the cabin when the other passengers realized that they had a waiguoren (foreigner) on board. Lots of stares and giggles from little kids later we finally began to prepare for take off. According to the airline representative the flight should only take 30-40 minutes. The first 20 minutes or so of the flight was breathtaking. Since we were flying in a smaller plane, we flew at a lower altitude and the countryside was just beautiful. However the further south we got the more thunderstorm cells we encountered. The pilot began to go around the cells instead of flying through them- thank you! But at one point our plane hit a rough patch of turbulence and suddenly dropped several hundred feet and rolled the plane on to its side. As one who has never liked roller coaster rides, I was a whole lot less than thrilled at this development and so were a lot of other passengers around us. Many Chinese people get motion sick and once the screams quieted a number of people got sick and one gentleman was so frightened he wet his pants. To add insult to injury, he got stuck in the bathroom after going in to get himself cleaned up. By this time we should have been arriving in Guilin, but due to the storms we ended up flying for another hour. It must have frightened the pilot too because for the rest of the flight we stayed at a much lower altitude and he seemed to handle the plane very cautiously. Once we landed in Guilin I told my friend Mark that I was done flying Hainan Airlines and I insisted on changing my airline ticket from Guilin to Guangzhou from Hainan Airlines to China Southern. Never again, I vowed.

Never say never... two years after that fateful flight I was once again staring increduously at a Haina Airlines ticket in my hand. I was escorting a group of travel agents who were tired and cranky from spending so much time at a small airport following a 3-day Yangtze River cruise. We all just wanted to get to Xian and the first flight I could get the group out on (after the fog cleared) was on Hainan Airlines. I quietly said "Oh no, I don't think I can do this" to the reservations agent, but with my limited Chinese and his limited English, I soon realized I was stuck.

I gathered the group and smiled and told them that we were on our way to Xian and would get to see the first snowfall of the year in Xian that evening - what a lucky sign for us. Ha!

The flight was pleasant, the plane fairly new, the crew well-trained and Benny Hill re-runs were being shown on the tv monitors. For a period of time I was lulled into thinking that I really should re-think my opinion of Haian Airlines. But wait... it was time for the descent into Xian. We were almost there... almost.

The flight crew came around to everyone and asked them to pull all of the window shades down saying that it was a regulation in China that all window shades must be pulled down during night landings in China. What? I had never heard that before. Benny Hill was turned off and Hawaiian music was piped over the loudspeakers.

As we descended and made that first bumpy contact with the tarmac I thought to myself, "piece of cake we're down". There was only one problem: we weren't slowing down. Apparently the runway was frozen over from the snow storm and our pilot was having some "issues". As we're barreling down the runway with Hawaiian music lilting in the background I found myself praying, "Please God, just get us to a standstill on the ground and I'll never ask for anything again". We finally slid off the runway and came to an abrupt halt. Never was I so glad to see the ground in my whole life. I would have walked from one end of China to the other rather than fly Hainan Airlines again-- and to this day I haven't.

As much as I would LOVE to win that trip to China-- I won't even enter the contest because it would be just my dumb luck that I would win. 14 hours trapped in the air with Hainan Airlines from Seattle to Beijing and then 14 hours back? I simply couldn't do it.

Taking a slow boat to China sounds good about now. Anybody want to go?

She's done with middle school! Hurray!

Em graduated from middle school two nights ago. There were 299 kids in her 8th grade class. We had a family dinner out before going to the ceremony and then coming back home for cake and presents.

Hold your kids close while you can, they grow up so very fast!

Single Happiness - 6.12.08

O.K. maybe divorce is not the happiest of occasions, but all's well that ends well 11 months and 6 days after filing. I'm so done!

China Shaken Video

Multimedia journalist, Michael Zhao, shares an incredible video presentation he put together about the Wenchuan, China earthquake.

While some of the photos have been splashed across many websites, Michael includes some lesser known footage and information. On the China Digital Times website, Michael is quoted as saying,

"With this video, I hope to bring more attention to the pain and hardship millions of refugees from and around Sichuan have to go through to rebuild their homes, governments, hospitals, and schools. In nine minutes, you can see the horror and destruction that nature imposed on humanity in a rural yet densely-populated corner of southwest China. This was of course not an attempt to tell the whole story but I hope it gives a sense of the heartbreak and devastation of “a nation under attack (by nature).”

As Michael asks, please share this video with your friends.

Some friends have mentioned that it is hard to imagine such a catastrophe when it happened in a land so far away and unknown to them. While that may be true, I ask this question tonight: Are we ready for the "big one" here in the USA?

Watch the video and then tell me. Are we really prepared? I don't think so.

A Wild Ride in China Recounted

American John Bergen lives and teaches in China's Dujiangyan City. An historic city, Dujiangyan was seriously damaged during the May 12 earthquake.

Through email correspondence with blogger, Loretta Waldman, John gives a detailed accounting of what it was like to experience the May 12 earthquake in his 6th floor apartment. Visit the following link on Loretta's blog for the amazing story http://blogs.courant.com/itowns_fv/2008/05/china-chronicles-chapter-2.html

Quake Lakes Threaten Sichuan Valleys

With thunderstorms and heavy rain forecast for the Sichuan region, PLA soldiers and geologists are racing against time to alleviate pressure at some of the newly formed quake lakes. To the left is a satellite image (courtesy of AP Photos) that shows the original flow of the river near Beichuan, as well as the status of the area on May 14.

Significant earthquake damage can be seen not only in the river changes, but in the flattening of the hillsides and mountains.

Some villages are already under water, while others are waiting to be evacuated. Please pray for the people of Sichuan, Gansu and Shaanxi Provinces, as well as the relief workers who are doing all they can.

Once the tremors subside...

the devastation in China won't go away. The enormity of the disaster has yet to be fully realized.

Earthquake Footage set to Jackie Chan song "Never Say Goodbye"

Action film star, Jackie Chan, sings for earthquake victims

Thoughts and Photo series about China

China Completes 3 Days of Mourning
Originally uploaded by Life in Nanning

The devastating destruction in China caused by the May 12 quake is beyond comprehension. There are no words to even begin to describe the complete annihilation of some very beautiful areas of China.

While Beichuan and Sichuan Province are indeed the hardes hit, two other provinces - Shaanxi and Gansu have also suffered substantial damage in places.

Trying to comprehend a death toll of over 50,000, another 29,000 missing and nearly 300,000 injured it is just so hard to wrap our minds around that type of devastation. Add to that more than 5 million left homeless and the hot, humid and rainy summer season of China upon us, the people of China desperately need our prayers.

An American, living in southern China, captured some beautifully poignant photos as the Chinese people mourn those who have been lost. Can China rebuild? I believe so, yes.

Please take a few moments and visit Michael's images, he's an amazing photographer: http://flickr.com/photos/mtbl/sets/72157605154420743/


Want to help? The following are reputable organizations doing good work in China:

The Evangelical Lutheran Church Disaster Response Giving (a friend of mine will be traveling to Sichuan Province with the ELCA on Sunday to help) archive.elca.org/disaster/article.asp?id=94&mode=3

The Red Cross: www.redcross.org/

Doctors Without Borders: www.doctorswithoutborders.org/donate/

The Amity Foundation (I can personally vouch for this organization, having traveled with Dr. Hong in Hunan to assess conditions at Hunan's orphanages) http://www.amityfoundation.org/wordpress/?page_id=55

Shaken Foundations

Lately it seems that the world has been rocked with more chaos than usual. From terrorist bombings today in India and wild fires in Florida to the catastrophic earthquake in China, tornadoes here in the USA, and the devastating cyclone in Myanmar it is difficult not to ask "what's next?"

On one hand, I am so thankful that friends and family are safe in China while on the other my heart breaks for those who have had their lives completely devastated.

I rejoice for the amazing daughter that I have (who celebrated her 14th birthday yesterday) while, at the same time, I grieve for friends who recently lost their child and my aunt who lost her husband of more than 50 years.

I thank God every day for the blessings in my life yet struggle with the rising costs of fuel of food to keep my family afloat.

I know in my heart that we if we just trust, our needs will be met by our Lord and Savior, but I still struggle on a daily basis with letting go.

We are all part of a greater plan, my prayer is that God pull the curtains from my eyes to see that greater plan.

The people of the world need our prayers. Tonight, I especially ask that you remember the people of China and Myanmar.

The Forbidden Kingdom-- Finally!

Happy Easter

It's been very busy the past month preparing for Lent and then on to Holy Week and today, Easter. No time to slack off, it's full steam ahead catching up on other projects at work before finally having a week off for vacation during Em's spring break.

Even though Easter is a joyous occasion, we have had a subdued weekend at home. My Uncle was diagnosed with cancer little more than a week ago, had surgery to remove the tumor on Wednesday and then unexpectedly passed away yesterday morning after a massive heart attack. As my cousin mentioned yesterday, he seemed "invincible". Kind, strong, ornery, and a strong believer in justice, it is hard to believe that he is gone. A memorial service wil be held for him in May in central Oregon. We will make the trek to a small town to be with my Aunt, cousin and their friends.

Family and friends in the Willamette Valley, Em and I will still be coming down in a couple of weeks. My brother has a show coming up here in the Seattle area and we'll be at the reception for that and then making our way down to Oregon for a few days. It's time to see everyone and make the rounds and get as much of the farm and family history recorded as we can.

Until then, Happy Easter. Christ is Risen! Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!

Forbidden City

Please pray for China

It has been some time since I have posted about China; tonight I ask for your prayers for the people of China.

If you have been following weather-related news here in the USA, you know that we have endured some very cold and snowy weather in many places, including here in the Pacific Northwest. China has been suffering much the same thing, only in many ways much worse.

Over the last few days China has been enduring some of the worst weather in more than 50 years. News two days ago reported that 19 million police officers have been called up, along with the PLA to keep the situation as under control as possible. Transportation is at a standstill across China including Em's birthplace of Hunan Province.

A dear friend in Hunan emailed me to say that many are without power and some are without tap water.

CNN reports tonight that fuel and supplies of rice could begin to run out in some areas.

More information can be found on CNN's website: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/02/01/china.weather/index.html

On behalf of friends and family in China, thank you for your prayers.

Love,

Kim

C A P T I V A T E D

Just had to share the lyrics to Shawn McDonald's latest release - Captivated. Shawn is an awesome musician who lives here in Seattle. Be sure to check out Shawn's website: http://www.shawnmcdonaldmusic.com

When I look into the mountains I see Your face
When I look into the night sky it sparkles Your Name
The wind in the clouds and the blue in the sky The sun and the moon and the stars so high That's what draws me to You

Chorus: I am I'm captivated by You (You know that You do)
I am I'm captivated

When I wake unto the morning it gives me your sights
When I look across the ocean it echoes Your might
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
That's what draws me to You

Chorus x2

The wind in the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
The blood in my veins and my heart
You invade The plants how they grow and the trees and the shade
The way that I feel and the Love in my soul I thank you my God for letting me know

Chorus x2 I am... (synthesized)

The snow finally arrived

We woke up this morning to a blanket of snow covering everything -- finally. The forecast has been calling for snow for several days now. With school closed, my office was closed as well. However, now that we have remote access, I spent some time answering emails and trying to update some files.

Em is trying to catch up on her favorite anime series. She is depending on the subtitles less and will start formal Japanese classes in the fall (hopefully). I still wish she would pick up her interest in Mandarin again, but we will approach that carefully- one step at a time.

The weekend was spent cataloging photographic images taken over the last 20 years. It's a huge project with all of the photography I have done, but it will be great to have a comprehensive catalog that is easy to access by subject and keyword. Working with a film scanner helps move the project along a bit faster. As I get more images scanned, I'll be getting them added to my Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kpeng/

We also located some family history for the Christensen side of the family. My grandfather had completed a partial family history that goes back to 1645. One of my cousin's is eager to take on the task of putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Evidently, there is also some Irish heritage on mom's side of the family and looking for information related to that as well.

Em is hoping for more snow tonight. Frankly, I am ready for spring to get here. It has been pretty cold this winter. At least we haven't had the major windstorms that we experienced last year, but flowers and sunshine would sure be nice. The perpetual gray skies we have had really remind me of China. And yes, I am beginning to miss China again -- a lot.

Remembering Grandma Walch

Saturday will mark five years since the Walch side of my family gathered together to say farewell to my grandmother. In some respects, time has flown by and yet it seems like yesterday that we were gathering to say goodbye.

There have been many people who have influenced my life, but no one comes close to my grandmother. She was always there for all of us grandkids and ready to guide us with love, patience and a rap on the head if we got out of control.

Earlier this week as I was doing the layout for our Sunday evening bulletin at church, I noticed that one of our pastors had chosen the hymn "Softly and Tenderly" as the "Gospel hymn" and memories came flooding back of the last few days of caring for my grandmother. It was one of her favorite hymns and I hope that she has many opportunities to sing it uninterrupted by the cacophony of life with the Walch kids, grandkids, great-grandkids and so on....

Yesterday even more memories of the rambunctious times I shared with my brother and cousins surfaced yet again when discussing the theme of our upcoming Easter service. Evidently, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" was entered as a "placeholder"for the sermon-- unless our lead pastor really does think that LBFF would be a good theme. One of my friends on staff mentioned that he had no idea who/what LBFF is. When I got home I asked Emily if she remembered the story of LBFF and for the rest of the evening strains of LBFF echoed throughout the house and my memories of summer days on the swings at the farm, repeatedly singing verse after verse of LBFF with my cousins-- much to grandma's dismay. For those who know the song/story, you are sure to admit that a little of LBFF goes a very long way.

So to grandma, if you are looking down on your family tonight, may the joyous voices singing just one more round of LBFF fill your heart tonight and all the while may strains of "Softly and Tenderly" fill the hearts of those you have always held dear. I know I can speak for everyone when I say that I love you and miss you more than words can say.